Is this a list I see before me?
Er, yes. Yes, it is a list. A list of the characters found in Wyrd Sisters in alphabetical order.
There’s a list of the same folks in chronological over yonder.
Bentzen – Captain of Duke Felmet’s personal body guard. Though as efficient a killer as a psychotic mongoose, was not immortal.
Billem – An actor who portrayed one of the witches.
Black Aliss Demurrage – The quintessential witch, the type which most present-day witches now try to avoid being compared to.
Blind Io – Chief of the gods who live at Dunmanifestin. He appears to be blind but has many eyes outside his body.
Brattsley – An actor (an Elder), known for the line: “What hath befell the land?“
Brother Jape – Attempted to teach the Fool to juggle badly. There was really no need.
Brother Prankster – One of the Fool’s instructors. The name pretty much says it all.
Cakebread – According to our Shawn, cursed by Nanny Ogg after he kicked her cat.
Champett Poldy – Guard at Lancre Castle. Brought into the world by Granny Weatherwax.
Krysoprase (aka Chrystophrase and Chrysoprase) – Son of Kwartz? Head Troll.
Dafe – An actor who portrayed Death, until Death showed up.
Daff Ogg – Perhaps Daffney? One of Nanny Ogg’s many children. Helps in the kitchen of Lancre Castle.
Darron Ogg, Our – His eldest son got sick from too much beer at Nanny Ogg’s party. Nanny had good parties.
Daviss – A butcher who was cursed by Nanny Ogg. We probably don’t want to know why.
Death – An anthrpomorphic personification comprised of a skeleton, covered in a black robe, and holding a scythe (or a sword, for kings). He communicates in CAPTIAL LETTERS without the quotation marks.
Destiny – The god with whom Night had an appointment.
Dreen Ogg, Our – Helped clean the wossnames off the floor at Nanny Ogg’s house that the witches had put there during a previous gathering. Good gel, that Dreen.
Duke Leonal Felmet – Murderer of King Verence. In need of a good hand cleanser (a la Macbeth).
Fate – One of the game-playing gods in Dunmanifestin.
Goodie Filter – A witch who had trained Granny Weatherwax and who apparently didn’t mince words with her. We don’t know what
Granny di became of her.
Goodie Whemper – A research witch – maysherestinpeace – who preceded Magrat Garlick in Mad Stoat. (That’s a place.)
Grabpot Thundergust – The dwarf who (don’t say it too loudly) owns the Halls of Elven Perfume and Rouge Co.
Grame Ogg, Our – His youngest was recently married (at the time of the events in Wyrd Sisters), which ceremony prevented Nanny Ogg from attending a coven meeting.
Granny Weatherwax – The head witch (among equals), especially in Bad Ass country. Given name: Esmerelda. Esme, for short, but only to her closest friends.
Great A’Tuin – He or she is the turtle who moves through space in the Discworld universe. On his or her back are 4 elephants. On the backs of the elephants rests the Disc itself.
Greebo – Nanny Ogg’s cat. He will mate with any unsuspecting female.
Grodley, Sister – A witch from Skund. Drops her Haitches. Apparently got into it with Granny Weatherwax over a gibbet.
Gumridge – An actor who played the part of the Good Duchess; i.e., Lady Felmet; i.e., Lady Macbeth. Musta been quite the actor.
Herne the Hunted – Discworld god of “small furry creatures whose destiny it is to end their lives as a brief, crunchy squeak.”
Hoki – According to Granny Weatherwax, a god who is usually “a bloody nuisance”. Blind Io would likely agree.
Hron – A guard of Lancre Castle who didn’t get as far as he wanted with Magrat Garlick – in part, due to her breadknife.
Hwel – The Disc’s answer to Shakespeare. We don’t know what the question was.
J. H. ‘Flannelfoot’ Boggis – With his nephews, ‘The Old Firm’ of Bespoke Thieves. Attacked the Fool and humbly regretted it later.
Jason Ogg, Our – One of Nanny Ogg’s many children. Nanny betimes babbysits for Jason’s youngest.
Karen Ogg, Our – Married to an innkeeper of Ankh-Morpork. Nanny Ogg hasn’t seen her baby yet.
Kev Ogg – One of Nanny Ogg’s many children. Perhaps a triplet with Trev and Nev?
King Champot – Has haunted Lancre Castle for at least 1000 years.
King Gruneberry the Good – King of Lancre from 906 to 967. What he was good at is not known.
King Gruneweld – One-time king of Lancre. According to Nanny Ogg, he was a real king. Very gracious.
King Murune – King of Lancre from 709 to 745. He didn’t make friends easily and met a terrible fate. (See footnote in Wyrd Sisters.)
King Thargum – Once king of Lancre. Poisoned by King Verence’s father. Had a red beard. Very gracious, according to Nanny Ogg.
King Verence – King of Lancre, murdered by Duke Felmet.
Lady Felmet – Wife of Duke Leonal Felmet. The real power and brains during their rather brief rule in Lancre.
Leonard of Quirm – Painter, inventor. (Think, da Vinci.)
(Head) Librarian – Formerly human, now simian. Favorite (and nearly only) word: Oook.
Lightfoot – Magrat Garlick’s tortoyse familiar.
Lords of Misrule – Leaders of the Fool’s Guild.
Machiavelli – Roundworld personality. He couldn’t have run a whelk stall compared to the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork.
Magrat Garlick – The youngest of the coven of three, with Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg.
Millie Hipwood – According to Nanny Ogg, she “ditch-delivered” a baby girl who turned out fine. (See Macbeth for details.)
(Miss) Whipple – Neshley’s mother, maiden name.
Mrs Vitoller – Wife of Olwyn, head of the acting troupe. Convinces her husband – with a look – to adopt Tomjon.
Mussorgsky – Roundworld personality. Musician who would have been less creative about mountain music, if it depended upon the coven of three.
Nanny (Gytha) Ogg – A prominent and popular (especially with gentlemen) witch who had 15 children.
Neshley – Cart driver who nearly ran over Granny Weatherwax. She removed his cart’s wheels, of course.
Nev Ogg – One of Nanny Ogg’s many children. Perhaps a triplet with Kev and Trev?
Norbut, old – Once had a cow that stopped giving milk after Granny Weatherwax looked at it. Maybe.
Old Mother (Gammer) Dismass – Elderly witch who doesn’t get out much.
Olwyn Vitoller – Head of the troupe of strolling players of which Hwel was chief playwright. Adopted Tomjon at his wife’s insistence.
Patrician of Ankh – The leader of the city of Ankh-Morpork. You know him cordially as Havelock Vetinari.
Queen Bemery – Ruler of Lancre from 670 to 722. Now seen by Verence haunting the castle.
Queen Grimnir the Impaler – Vampire ruler of Lancre from 1514 to 1553, 1553 to 1557, 1557 to 1562, 1562 to 1567, and 1568 to 1573.
Reet Ogg, Our – One of Nanny Ogg’s children. Known to make pumpkin dip and have babbies.
Roger – One of Duke Felmet’s guards. Not allowed fruit on account of his trouble.
Ron (thief) – One of J. H. Boggis’ nephews. Was fetched a right thump by the Fool.
Sharleen Ogg, Our – One of Nanny Ogg’s many children known to have children of her own.
Shawn Ogg, Our – Nanny Ogg’s son who is a guard at Lancre Castle.
Shirl Ogg – With Daff, helps out in the kitchens of Lancre Castle.
Tomjon – Rightful heir to the throne of Lancre (following Verence I) but preferred to be chief artiste among the strolling players and later at the Dysk.
Tracie Ogg, Our – One of Nanny Ogg’s children. Once sent her a lovely new lamp.
Trev Ogg – One of Nanny Ogg’s many children. Perhaps a triplet with Kev and Nev?
Troglodyte Wanderer – Haunts Lancre Castle because it was built on his burial mound.
Twins, the – A pair of young ghosts who wander Lancre Castle.
Verence, the Fool – Becomes King Verence II when his half brother, Tomjon, decides not to be king of Lancre.
Wane Ogg – One of Nanny Ogg’s many children.
Wen Ogg, Our – Along with Jason, one of Nanny Ogg’s sons who handled the taxman for her. [Wen is mentioned in the 1988 ROC edition, but he’s called Wane in other editions.]
Willikins, Young – One of Vitoller’s actors who specialized in female roles.
Wilph – An actor who portrayed one of the witches.
Wimsloe – A young actor who cared a lot about the props.
WxrtHltl-jwlpklz – A demon questioned by Granny Weatherwax. The demon lost.