Snuff Persons – Alphabetic

Snuff doesn’t play a huge role in Snuff, but here’s an alphabetical list of the persons who do. They’re in chronological order on this page.

A. E. Pessimal – One of Vetinari’s inspectors who inspects the Watch.

Abuthknott Makewar, Sir – Married Emily Gordon. Owns the Makewar pottery manufactory. Invented Makewar’s Crispy Nuts, breakfast of champions.

All Jolson – Awesome chef on Broad Way and equally awesome eater.

Amanda Gordon – May like frogs, if the remark was heard correctly.

Arachne – Dark Clerk working for Vetinari in Fourecks.

Ariadne Gordon – Friend of Lady Sibyl. Has 6 daughters – Mavis, Emily, Fleur, Amanda, Jane, and Hermione.

“Beefy” Jackson – Former comrade of Colonel Makepeace. Wore a dress and flowery aftershave but could fight like a demon.

Bewilderforce Gumption – Tobacco shop owner who sells a cigar containing an Unggue pot to Sergeant Colon.

Big Dave – Proprietor of Dave’s Stamp and Pin Exchange. He can get you the pins you really want.

Billy Slick – Goblin, aka Of the Wind Regretfully Blown. Employed by Harry King.

Bishop Scour – Said that goblins are demonic and insolent creations made as a mockery of mankind. (The lot he knew.)

“Black Jack” Ramkin – Had Hangman’s Hill raised 30 feet so he could see the smoke from Ankh-Morpork. Won 2 gallons of brandy in the process.

Blind Io – Chief of the gods who live at Dunmanifestin. He appears to be blind but has many eyes outside his body.

Brick – Troll who witnessed the death of Hamcrusher. Nearly always on some drug until Detritus helps him kick the habit(s).

Bugsy – Chief sub-editor of the Times.

Captain / Corporal Carrot Ironfoundersson – Member of the Night Watch. Adopted dwarf. Possibly king of Ankh-Morpork. Later promoted to Captain.

Captain Emile – Part of an exchange between Ankh-Morpork and Quirm that involved Captain Haddock.

Captain Harbinger – Captain of an unnamed ship out of Quirm.

Captain Murderer – Captain of the Queen of Quirm which held goblins and Jethro Jefferson.

Captain O’Farrell – Master of the Roberta.

Captain Samuel Vimes – Head of the Ankh-Morpork Night Watch. Recovering alcoholic. Eventual spouse of Lady Ramkin and Commander of the Watch.

Colonel Charles Augustus Makepeace – Retired army officer. Author of Twenty-four Years Without Eyebrows. His wife knows the foods he likes, even if he disagrees.

Colonel Edgehill – Magistrate in the Shires.

Colonel F. J. Massingham – Author of A Banquet of Worms. Mentions some of the goblins’ more unusual acts.

Commandant Fournier – Senior officer of the police force in Quirm.

Constable Andy Haddock – Human in the Watch.

Constable Precious Jolson – Member of the Watch active at the Pink Pussycat Club from time to time.

Corporal Cheery Littlebottom (Cheri) – Alchemist, female dwarf in the Watch.

Corporal Cecil Wormsborough St. John “Nobby” Nobbs – Member of the Night Watch. Species: human. Probably.

Dame Slightly – Ran the Dame School in Cockbill Street which Sam Vimes (Sr.) attended for 6 months when he was young.

Daniel Trooper – Public executioner at the Tanty. Decent fellow.

Dave (Dog & Badger) – Owner of the Dog and Badger.

Davey Hackett – One of several who tried to capture Mrs. Feeney.

Diedre Parsley Keepsake, Duchess – Snob. Mother of Letitia. Mrs. Proust knows about her earlier days though.

Delphine Angua von Uberwald – First werewolf and female in the Watch. Very close friend of Carrot.

Detritus – A troll who eventually becomes a leading member of the Watch.

Dr. Bentley Purchase – Author of The Vicar is Coming to Tea and One Hundred and Twenty-seven Other Warnings of Social Embarrassment.

Dr. John “Mossy” Lawn – Trained in Klatch (where patients were actually expected to get better), he is probably the only doctor (for humans) in Ankh-Morpork who has ever cured anyone.

Dr. Varies – Known for his medicated upright mixture.

(Rufus) Drumknott – Lord Vetinari’s servant.

Emily Gordon – Good cook with an enormous bosom.

Feeney Upshot – Chief Constable in the Shires. Learned much about food and the martial arts from his mother, Ming Chang. Owns a pig named Masher.

Felicity Beedle – Author of 57 books, notably The World of Poo.

Fleur Gordon – Makes lovely bonnets.

Gastric Sillitoe – Captain of the Wonderful Fanny.

Gladys H. J. Ferguson – Namesake of the literary award won 5 times by Felicity Beedle.

Grace Sillitoe – Gastric’s daughter.

Gravid Rust – Had goblins taken from Hangman’s Hill to be sold as slaves in Howondaland. Not a nice person.

Great-aunt Marigold – The six Gordon girls awaited her death so they would have dowry money.

Henry Withering – With his Lady, invited Sam and Sibyl to a ball.

Hermione Gordon – A lumberjack.

Higgins J. – Member of a crockett team. Fired a handsaw under a wandering sheep.

Honourable Ambrose – Magistrate in the Shires.

Igor (Young) – A pioneer who doesn’t fit in in Uberwald. Goes to Ankh-Morpork to join the Watch.

Jackson Fieldfair – Now Bishop of Quirm. Earlier, when a priest at St. Onan’s, invented the game of crockett (from croquet) by hitting the ball very hard (eventually into an opponent’s goal).

Jane Gordon – Wants to be a writer.

“Jankers” Robinson – Former friend of Colonel Makepeace. The colonel had once dragged him to safety over the pommel of his saddle before a Klatchian scimitar got him.

Jeffrey – Worker at the Opera House.

Jeremy – A cleric. One of the Gordon girls is interested in helping him in his ministry.

Jethro Jefferson – Smith of a village near Crundells in the Shires.

Jiminy – Landlord of the Goblin’s Head / Commander’s Arms.

John “Mad Jack” Ramkin, Sir – 3rd Earl. Less famous brother of Woolsthorpe.

Joseph “Causality” Robinson, Reverend – Rector of All Saints and Three Sinners, Lower Overhang. Invented the game of saddle pork.

Justice Hangnail, Lord – Never took account of any plea of not guilty on the basis that “criminals always lie”. Was the Worshipful Master of the Benevolent Company of Rope Makers and Braiders. Hmm.

Kinky Elsie – Only girl Willikins ever punched. There were special circumstances.

Knatchbull Harrington – Music critic for the Times.

Lady Hangfinger – Invited Sam and Sibyl to, yes, a ball.

Lady Rust – Wife of Lord Rust.

Lady Sybil Deidre Oglivanna Ramkin – Caretaker of swamp dragons and eventual spouse of Commander Vimes. Richest person in Ankh-Morpork.

Lady Withering – With Henry, invited Sam and Sibyl to a ball.

Letitia Makepeace – Chair of the magistrates in the Shires. Wife of Charles. He let her have her way in all things.

Lieutenant Perdix – Officer in the Quirm City Watch.

Long Tom – One of the elderly triplets outside the Goblin’s Head.

Lord Bowler – Designed hats to protect gamekeepers from vicious attacks by poachers.

Lord Ramkin – Sybil’s father. Vimes remembered him as a bloodthirsty old devil.

Lord Rust – Aristocrat not interested in Edward d’Eath’s plot.

Ly Tin Wheedle – A famous philosopher. I’m certain his name means something, but I don’t know what.

Marquis de Fantailler – Creator of a list of rules for pugilism. It wasn’t a very good list if you wanted to win.

Masher – Feeney Upshot’s (guard?) pig.

Mavis Gordon – Very devout daughter of Ariadne Gordon.

Mildred (Colon friend) – Friend of Mrs. Colon. Not necessarily the night kitchen maid. Had a rather nice porcelain jug and basin set she wanted to sell.

Ming Chang – Feeney Upshot’s mother. Originally from Bhangbhangduc.

Miss Hodges – Servant at Crundells who Vimes tried to have a conversation with.

Miss Pickings – Magistrate in the Shires. A spinster.

Mistress Upshot – Feeney’s mother.

Mr. Coffin – Gatekeeper at Crundells, the Ramkin estate.

Mr. Harrison – Loadmaster of the Wonderful Fanny.

Mr Harry King – King of the Golden River. The ultimate reseller.

Mr. Parsley – Bhangbhangduc cuisine disagreed with him. Unknown if related to Deirdre.

Mr. Shine – Him diamond! Diamond King of Trolls. The current King is Mr. Shine. Another King played a game of thud with B’hrian Bloodaxe back in the day in Koom Valley.

Mr. Silver – Butler at Crundells.

Mr Slant – Of Morecombe, Slant & Honeyplace…lawyers. Head of the Lawyers’ Guild.

Mr. Trout – Zoo gamekeeper who assists young Sam Vimes with his poo discoveries.

Mrs Colon – Wife of Sgt. Colon of the Night Watch. Works days.

Mrs. Gumption – Liked the opera and other things in high society.

Mrs. Sillitoe – Gastric’s wife.

Mrs. Silver – Head housekeeper at Crundells.

Mrs. Upshot – Feeney’s wife.

Mrs. Wainwright – Possibly a real person. Used as code between Sybil and Sam meaning, “If you don’t stop annoying people, Sam Vimes, then there will be a certain amount of marital discord later this evening.”

Nudicia – Daughter of Blind Io. One of the Three Disgraces.

Om – From which Omnia takes its name. Traveled in the form of a tortoise in Brutha’s time.

Otto Chriek – Vampire (reformed) iconographer for the A-M Times.

Patrician of Ankh – The leader of the city of Ankh-Morpork. You know him cordially as Havelock Vetinari.

Pelvic Williams – Could play snooker like no one else Vimes had ever seen.

Ponder Stibbons – A student wizard. Reader in Invisible Writings. Often the brains of UU.

Praise and Salvation False – Original last name was Thalassa. (It got lost in the transliteration.) Raises complicated chickens. Stowed away on the Wonderful Fanny.

Professor of Dust, Miscellaneous Particles and Filaments – Office at Unseen University. Holder unknown, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s Stibbons.

Pulchritudia – Daughter of Blind Io. One of the Three Disgraces.

Purity – Maid hired by Sam and Sibyl to help care for Young Sam. Seems to have an understanding with Willikins.

Quite Reverend Mightily-Praiseworthy-Are-Ye-Who-Exalteth-Om Oats, The – Mightily Oats, for short. Omnian missionary who doesn’t seem to be affected by the de Magpyr clan.

Regina Rust – Daughter of Lord Rust.

Regret of the Falling Leaf – Goblin, aka Granny Slick, Billy’s granny.

Rhys Rhysson – He (actually, she) is the Low King of the dwarfs.

“Rubber” Ramkin – Brother of Turnip. Invented rubber boots, rubberized fabric, and many other items made of the stuff.

Sam Vimes, Jr. – Son of Sir Samuel and Sibyl. Loves Where’s My Cow?

Sergeant Frederick (Fred) Colon – Mainly of the Night Watch. Likes to stay out of trouble – especially other peoples’.

Sergeant Hammer-of-Gold – Of the Dolly Sisters Watch House. Caught Cheery’s eye every time she was busily catching his eye.

Short Tom – One of the elderly triplets outside the Goblin’s Head.

Sound of the Rain on Hard Ground – Goblin whose (second) wife was murdered.

Squeezy McIntyre – Vimes mistook him for Stratford.

St Ungulant – Sevrian Thaddeus Ungulant. Anchorite, a hermit who retreated to the desert but stayed there. Friends with Angus.

Stinky – Goblin assigned his (appropriate) name by Sam Vimes.

Stratford – In the employ of Gravid Rust, he murdered many people and goblins.

Stump – Hermit of Crundells. He’s been herming for 57 years.

Suffer-Not-Injustice Vimes – Known as Old Stoneface. Killed the last king of Ankh-Morpork. Ancestor of Commander Samuel Vimes.

Tak – God who, according to the dwarfs, wrote the world, as recorded in Gd Tak ‘Gar.

Tears of the Mushroom – Goblin who performed her harp composition “Twilight Serenade” at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House.

Ted Flutter – Turkey farmer often in trouble with the law. Cohort of Stratford.

Ten Gallon Charlie – Bullock Wrangler on board the Wonderful Fanny.

The Cold Bone Wakes – Head goblin.

The Pleasant Contrast of the Orange and Yellow Petals in the Flower of the Gorse – Second wife of Sound of the Rain on Hard Ground. Goblin who was murdered.

Tom Tom – One of the elderly triplets outside the Goblin’s Head.

Tony – Clacks worker.

Turnip Ramkin – Invented the seed drill. Only looked like a turnip.

Twister Boote – Owns a bottle shop in the Shades.

Verity Pushpram – Nice girl. Runs the clam and cockle barrow in Rime Street. Nickname: Hammerhead.

Very Reverend Mouser – Magistrate in the Shires.

Voluptia – Daughter of Blind Io. One of the Three Disgraces.

Wee Mad Arthur – One of the Nac Mac Feegle who was raised as a gnome. Catches rats for resale, even though not a Guild member.

William Butler – Gardener at Crundells.

William de Worde – Fell into the printing / publishing business through (almost) no fault of his own. Ended up doing a decent job of it.

William Hasty – Thatcher, by trade. Discussed the goblins situation with Vimes.

William Stoner – Clerk of the Magistrates of the Shires.

Willikins – Butler of Lady Ramkin.

Willy (cowherd) – Cowherd who taught young Sam the word tits.

Wobbly No-Name – Dockmaster mentioned in Flutter’s account of happenings to the goblins.

Woolsthorpe Ramkin – Discovered the wonderful properties of the apple called Malus equilibria.

Zoons – Trustworthy traders, shippers on the riverways of the Disc.

Article Name
Snuff Persons - Alphabetic
Alphabetical list of the persons in Snuff.
Publisher Name
Narrativium Reviews
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