Such things in Men at Arms as are needful in alphabetical order. Such things are here in chronological order.
Ankh-Morpork Succesfion, The – Written by Thighbiter. Contains the lineage of the kings and queens of older Ankh-Morpork.
Battle of Quirm – The first Duke (Monflathers?) led 600 men there to a glorious and epic defeat.
Cripple Mr Onion – A gambling game of cards at which Granny Weatherwax excels.
Curly Mountain Straight – Klatchian coffee not used on Captain Vimes.
Gonne – A six-shooting rifle that pwns you.
Hanging Gardens of Ankh – Built by Bloody Stupid Johnson.*
Hermit Elephant – Lives in huts which it extends as its size increase. Consider the possibilities…and stay far away.
How to Kille Insects – Written by Humptulip. A 2000-page volume perfect for doing damage to more than bugs.
Jimkin Bearhugger’s Old Selected Dragon’s Blood Whiskey – You could light fires with it, clean spoons…and you didn’t need much of it to be drunk. Also called “Very Fine Whiskey”, though this may be one of several fine distillages.
Lady Deirdre Waggon’s Book of Etiquette – Written by Lady Deirdre Waggon. Says a bride must marry someone at her wedding ceremony – the groom or next best man.
Lancre Suicide Thrush – One of the strangest species on the Disc.
Mona Ogg – Leonard of Quirm’s famous portrait of the smiling lady. Her teeth follow you around the room.
Old Tom – The bell in the UU clock tower that tolls in silence.
Quantum Weather Butterfly – Not much is known other than you better watch out if it flaps its wings.
Quirm Memorial – Built by Bloody Stupid Johnson.*
Red Desert Special – Klatchian coffee used on Captain Vimes.
Shadowing Lemma – Exists in 2 dimensions and eats mathematicians.
Twurp’s Peerage – A proper book that Magrat was fed up with the type of. Vimes considered it the guide to the criminal classes.
Wellcome to Ankh-Morporke, Citie of One Thousand Surprises – Published by the Merchant’s Guild, of course.
*Along with the Colossus of Morpork (see Places in Men at Arms). I couldn’t decide whether to include these 3 items in Things or Places, so I put 2 here and 1 there.
