It’s probably a good thing the Lords and Ladies mostly don’t have names. Including that one exception, here are the characters in the novel in chronological order. See them in alphabetical order on this page.
Granny Weatherwax – The head witch (among equals), especially in Bad Ass country. Given name: Esmerelda. Esme, for short, but only to her closest friends.
Queen of the Elves – Nearly kills Granny Weatherwax. But that ate’nt true.
King of the Elves – Helped defeat the Queen of the Elves. Known for his tonker.
Lord Lankin – Only named elf.
Jason Ogg, Our – One of Nanny Ogg’s many children. Nanny betimes babbysits for Jason’s youngest.
Dreen Ogg, Our – Helped clean the wossnames off the floor at Nanny Ogg’s house that the witches had put there during a previous gathering. Good gel, that Dreen.
Nine Day Wonderers – Religious group of which Brother Perdore is a member.
Strict Offlians – Presumably they have Offler as their god.
Mr Skindle – Owns some goats.
Nanny (Gytha) Ogg – A prominent and popular (especially with gentlemen) witch who had 15 children.
Pewsey Ogg – One of Nanny’s grandchildren – the sticky one.
Magrat Garlick – The youngest of the coven of three, with Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg.
Verence, the Fool – Becomes King Verence II when his half brother, Tomjon, decides not to be king of Lancre.
Shawn Ogg, Our – Nanny Ogg’s son who is a guard at Lancre Castle.
Mr Spriggins – The butler of Lancre castle.
Mrs Scorbic – The cook of Lancre castle.
Mr Ironfoundersson – Dwarf who made Queen Magrat’s crown.
Olwyn Vitoller – Head of the troupe of strolling players of which Hwel was chief playwright. Adopted Tomjon at his wife’s insistence.
Hwel – The Disc’s answer to Shakespeare. We don’t know what the question was.
Goodie Whemper – A research witch – maysherestinpeace – who preceded Magrat Garlick in Mad Stoat. (That’s a place.)
William Scrope – Killed by a unicorn from the world of the elves.
Death – An anthrpomorphic personification comprised of a skeleton, covered in a black robe, and holding a scythe (or a sword, for kings). He communicates in CAPTIAL LETTERS without the quotation marks.
Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully the Brown – Prominent leader of Unseen University. Sorta good at what he does – whatever that is.
(Head) Librarian – Formerly human, now simian. Favorite (and nearly only) word: Oook.
Bursar, The – At UU, but not a wizard. Needs his dried frog pills. Aka Mr. Dinwiddie.
Palliard girl, now Widow Scrope – Had air-cooled teeth.
Dean – In several novels, his precise office is not specified. Probably Dean of Pentacles.
Lecturer in Recent Runes – Wizard at UU. Contrived wearing false beards over their beards as a disguise.
Ponder Stibbons – A student wizard. Reader in Invisible Writings. Often the brains of UU.
Millie Chillum – Queen Magrat’s attendant.
Muckloe – Pig farmer in Slice.
Greebo – Nanny Ogg’s cat. He will mate with any unsuspecting female.
Mr Quarney – Lancre’s only storekeeper.
Mother Peason – Had a hen that laid the same egg 3 times during a whirlwind.
Poorchick – Had a cow what gave birth to a seven-headed snake, according to what Jason Ogg says.
Lucy Tockley / Diamanda – Wants to be a “real” witch.
Agnes Nitt / Perdita X. Dream – Wants to be a “real” witch. Can sing in thirds.
Old Tockley – Lucy’s father.
Jarge Weaver – The thatcher. One of Lancre’s Morris Men. Assuming it was the same man who had his back “fixed” by Granny Weatherwax.
Granny Postalute – Went Borrowing one day and never returned. Possibly a bluetit these days.
Threepenny (Nitt) – Agnes’s parent.
Amanita DeVice – Claims that Diamanda sleeps in a coffin.
Susan / Muscara – Wants to be a “real” witch. (Not Death’s daughter.)
Nanny Gripes – Granny Weatherwax’s teacher.
Goody Heggety – Nanny Gripes’s teacher.
Nanna Plumb – Goody Heggety’s teacher.
Black Aliss Demurrage – The quintessential witch, the type which most present-day witches now try to avoid being compared to. Nanny Plumb’s teacher.
Birdwhistle – Wrote Legendes and Antiquities of the Ramptops.
Mrs Quarney – Witnessed the duel between Granny Weatherwax and Diamanda. Thought it was “wonderful“.
Lancre Morris Men – In no particular order: Jason Ogg the smith, Weaver the thatcher, Bestiality Carter the baker, Obidiah Carpenter the tailor and poacher, Baker the weaver, Thatcher the carter, Tailor the other weaver, and Tinker the tinker.
Bestiality Carter – The baker. One of Lancre’s Morris Men. Very kind to animals.
Obidiah Carpenter – The tailor and poacher. One of Lancre’s Morris Men.
Baker – The weaver. One of Lancre’s Morris Men. (Misspelled as Barker once.)
Mr Thrum – Still walks with a limp due to a performance of the Stick and Bucket Dance.
Thatcher – The carter. One of Lancre’s Morris Men.
Tailor – The other weaver. One of Lancre’s Morris Men.
Tinker – The tinker. One of Lancre’s Morris Men.
Hope Carter – Grew to be a depressive.
Chastity Carter – Became a lady of negotiable affection in Ankh-Morpork.
Prudence Carter – Now mother of 13 children.
Charity Carter – Expected to get a dollar’s change out of 75 pence.
Anger Carter – Now an amiable, well-tempered man.
Jealousy Carter – Now an amiable, well-tempered man.
Covetousness Carter – Now an amiable, well-tempered man.
Count Casanunda (Casanunder) – Dwarf known as the Disc’s greatest lover.
Psychotic Lord Hargon of Quirm – Jokester, as in…How many students can you get in an Iron Maiden?
Hodgesaargh – Occupational name. Royal falconer of Lancre castle.
Mr Brooks – Roayl beekeeper at Lancre castle.
Violet Frottidge / Magenta – Wants to be a “real” witch.
Biddy Spective – Nanny Ogg’s teacher.
Jim – A coachman who drove the wizards part of the way to Lancre for the wedding.
Tooth Fairy – According to Granny, a “very hard-working woman.” Actually, one of several with the same job.
King Ironfoundersson – Dwarf leader at Copperhead. (May be the same who made Magrat’s crown.)
Mrs Skindle – Insisted that Mr Skindle retrieve the goat before Nanny Ogg started singing in the bath.
Weezen – Of Slice. Shot a hare in the leg. May have been Borrowed by Granny at the time.
Mrs Persifleur – Hosted Archchancellor Ridcully back in the day.
Carbonaceous – Troll who climbed Copperhead with Ridcully back in the day.
Queen Agantia of Skund – Made Casanunda a Count for a (not that) small favor.
Sobriety Ogg – Shawn’s father, so Shawn says.
Eva Carter – The baker’s wife and mother of their several children.
Seriph Creosote – Of Al Khali. Of his father originated the phrase, “Rich as Creosote”. (Read about Croesus, if you’re unfamiliar.)
Mme Cupidor – Mistress of Mad King Soup II. Had a wig with a birdcage in it. Had another with a perpetual calendar, floral clock, and take-away linguini shop.
Mad King Soup II – Known to Mme Cupidor.
Greyhald ‘Tudgy’ Spold – Oldest wizard in The Light Fantastic. Head of the Ancient and Truly Original Sages of the Unbroken Circle. One-time Archchancellor of UU.
Queen Amonia – Reigned for about 3 hours because no one found her in the chest in the attic for 7 months.
King Lully I – Created Queen Ynci the Short-Tempered.
Queen Ynci the Short-Tempered – Magrat’s inspiration for bravery.
Spike – Queen Ynci’s favorite war pony.
King Gurnt the Stupid – Of Lancre. Had an idea for an aerial attach force that never got off the ground.
Lady Jane – Hodgesaargh’s ancient and evil-tempered gyrfalcon.
Ohulan Casuals – Morris Men from Ohulan (Cutash) who were defeated by Lancre’s Morris Men.
Ixolite – Banshee. OoooEeeeOoooEeeeOoooEEEee.
Cohen the Barbarian – Ghenghiz Cohen. The Disc’s greatest warrior, a legend in his own time. Or as he says, “I’m a lifetime in my own legend.”
Monks of Cool – Have a tiny, exclusive monastery in a really cool, laid-back valley in the Ramtops.
Brother Perdore – Nine Day Wonderer was to perform the wedding ceremony for Verence and Magrat.
