Interesting Times Persons – Alphabetic

May you live in Interesting Times alphabetically. Or, if you’d rather not, do it chronologically.

Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully the Brown – Prominent leader of Unseen University. Sorta good at what he does – whatever that is.

Big Mad Drongo – Student at UU. Aka Adrian Turnipseed, now a professor at Brazeneck.

Big Nurker – Barbarian hero who choked on a fishbone.

Blind Io – Chief of the gods who live at Dunmanifestin. He appears to be blind but has many eyes outside his body.

Bloody Stupid Johnson – Born, Bergholt Stuttley Johnson, but few remember those names. His works deserve an article all their own and may or may not ever get one.

Boy Willie – Youngest member of the Silver Horde.

Bruce the Hoon – Truckle the Uncivil once rode and had many adventures with him.

Caleb the Ripper – Member of the Silver Horde. Has killed at least 400 with his bare hands. More with weapons.

Captain Nong – Apparently encountered the encounter between The Luggage and The Other Luggage. We’ll never know for sure.

Chair of Indefinite Studies – Overweight wizard of UU. In on the discussion of the moving picture Blown Away.

Clancy – Daughter of War.

Cohen the Barbarian – Ghenghiz Cohen. The Disc’s greatest warrior, a legend in his own time. Or as he says, “I’m a lifetime in my own legend.”

Corporal Toshi – Officer of the Agatean army who believes the Great Wizard is helping the Silver Horde. Smart man, to a point.

Crowdie the Strong – Taken by the Terrible Man-Eating Sloth of Clup.

Cut-me-own-throat (C.M.O.T) Dibbler – Originally known as Claude Maximillian Overton Transpire Dibbler. Entrepreneur (unsuccessful). Will sell you a “pig” sausage innabun. Don’t ask questions.

Dean – In several novels, his precise office is not specified. Probably Dean of Pentacles.

Death – An anthrpomorphic personification comprised of a skeleton, covered in a black robe, and holding a scythe (or a sword, for kings). He communicates in CAPTIAL LETTERS without the quotation marks.

Disembowel-Meself-Honourably Dibhala-san – Entrepreneur in the Agatean Empire.

District Commissioner Kee – Known for “wisdom and justice”, for a given quality of same.

(Rufus) Drumknott – Lord Vetinari’s servant.

Emperor (Agatean) – No proper name for the current leader is given in Interesting Times.

Emperor One Sun Mirror – Of the Agatean Empire. Wisely didn’t trust his Vizier.

Emperor P’gi Su – Had a Talking Vase.

Fafa – Boy Willie owes this dwarf fifty dollars for making his sword. He’s not likely to be paid.

Famine – Associated with Death.

Fangs, The – Noble family in the Agatean Empire.

Fate – One of the game-playing gods in Dunmanifestin.

Five Hong Man, Captain – Officer of the Agatean Empire under command of Lord Hong. No known relation.

Five Tongs – District Commissioner of Bes Pelargic. Lives in the Street of Heavens.

Five White Fang – Among the first to see the real Red Army rise from the ground.

Five-Headed Vampire Goat – Found in Skund. Endangered due to Truckle.

Four Big Horns – Grand Assistant to the recently-deceased Lord Chamberlain. Promoted by the Silver Horde to Lord Chamberlain.

Four Big Sandal – Member of the Red Army. Rescued by Rincewind.

Four Horsemen of the Common Cold – Sniffles, Chesty, Nostril, and Lack of Tissues.

Four Horsemen Whose Appearance Foreshadows Any Public Holiday – Storm, Gales, Sleet, and Contra-flow.

Four Invisible Horsemen of Panic – Misinformation, Rumour, Gossip, and Denial.

Four White Fox – Guard killed by Mad Hamish.

Gosbar the Wake – Barbarian hero found dead in bed.

Green Necromancer of the Night – We don’t ask what Cohen did to him, but it made One Big River smile.

Hongs, The – Noble family in the Agatean Empire.

Hrun the Barbarian (of Chimeria) – According to Twoflower, another character famed in song and story. Twoflower would love to meet either Heric or Hrun or both of them.

Immortal Jenkins – Recently deceased barbarian hero.

Josiah H. ‘Flannelfoot’ Boggis – With his nephews, ‘The Old Firm’ of Bespoke Thieves. Now head of the Thieves’ Guild. Attacked the Fool and humbly regretted it later.

Jade Fan – Concubine who posed for Three Solid Frogs until Rincewind and followers ploughed through.

Lady Jade Night – Was attracted to Rincewind’s smell of unwashed lion, but said nothing.

Lady Peach Petal – Agatean noblewoman who compares Rincewind’s aroma to a hot day in a pig yard – which was only fair.

Lady Two Streams – Agatean noblewoman who complains of Rincewind’s stink, is almost forced to eat poisoned meat, and is eventually confined to the dungeon.

Lecturer in Recent Runes – Wizard at UU. Contrived wearing false beards over their beards as a disguise.

Leonard of Quirm – Painter, inventor. (Think, da Vinci.)

(Head) Librarian – Formerly human, now simian. Favorite (and nearly only) word: Oook.

Lord Chamberlain – A rather fluid position in the Agatean bureaucracy. Currently held by Four Big Horns.

Lord Fang – Had a fatal encounter with the Luggage.

Lord Hong – Grand Vizier of the Agatean Empire.

Lord McSweeney – Has 30 non-existent rebels killed in Sum Dim.

Lord Nine Mountains – Exploded after eating meat (intended for Cohen) poisoned by Lord Hong.

Lord Sung – Questioned Lord Hong’s command about ghosts – surprisingly without repercussion.

Lord Tang – Often the fall guy for Lord Hong.

Lotus Blossom – Pretty younger daughter of Twoflower.

Luggage, The – A mysterious box made of sapient pearwood that ambles about on hundreds of tiny feet. It arrived in Ankh-Morpork with Twoflower.

Ly Tin Wheedle – A famous philosopher. I’m certain his name means something, but I don’t know what.

Mad Bishop of Pseudopolis – Killed by Boy Willie in the presence of 15 naked maidens.

Mad Demon-Sucking Priests of Ee – Truckle cut their heads off.

Mad Hamish – Whut? Oldest member of the Silver Horde. Whut? Wheelchair-bound and loving it. Whut?

Lord Snapcase, Psychoneurotic / Mad – In 1401, a colony of bats was executed for persistent curfew violations during his regime.

Mad Snake God – Like his giant ruby, a lot.

McSweeneys, The – Noble family in the Agatean Empire. Really.

Modo – UU’s dwarf gardener. Say “Hallo” when you see him.

Mr Schism – Ronald Saveloy substituted for him (in practical alchemy) while he was off sick after blowing himself up.

Mr Whu – Rincewind encountered his funeral procession in Hunghung.

Mrs Beneficent Winds – Wife of Six and often frustrated by him.

Mrs Twoflower – Part of the reason for Pretty Butterfly and Lotus Blossom.

Nine Orange Trees – One of several guards captured by the Silver Horde. Suggests to Cohen that he lock them in a cell.

Noodle Jackson – Known to Rincewind and Colon.

Offler – The Crocodile God who has difficulty with speech due to his fang-like teeth – not unlike the speaking problems encountered by all crocodiles.

Old Vincent – Member of the Silver Horde. Didn’t quite pass the requirements for Valhalla.

One Big River – Agatean guard employed by Cohen, who usually calls him One Big Mother – a not inaccurate description.

One Favourite Pearl – Member of the Red Army who earned a badge for putting up posters.

One Tzu Sung – May have written the Art of War.

Organdy Sloggo – Barbarian hero who died of metal poisoning…three swords through the stomach.

Other Luggage, The – Intimate friend of The Luggage.

Panic – Son of War.

Patrician of Ankh – The leader of the city of Ankh-Morpork. You know him cordially as Havelock Vetinari.

Pestilence – Associated with Death.

Ponder Stibbons – A student wizard. Reader in Invisible Writings. Often the brains of UU.

Pretty Butterfly – A leader of the Red Army. Elder daughter of Twoflower.

Reader in Woolly Thinking – Like Fuzzy Logic, only less so.

Rincewind – A seemingly minor wizard who plays a major role in several Discworld novels. He is extremely good at running away.

Ronald Saveloy (Teach) – Member of the Silver Horde. Taken away by a Valkyrie upon his death.

Rover – A dog once owned by Truckle the Uncivil and the reason he will not now eat one.

Sangrit Heisenberg – Creator of his Uncertainty Principle, not the world’s finest lager.

Schz Yu – Had a Diamond Coffin.

Senior Wrangler – Wizard at UU. This is an actual position in the Roundworld as well.

Seven Lucky Logs – The reason the Silver Horde knows Six Beneficent Winds is Collector of Revenues.

Six Beneficent Winds – Deputy District Administrator for the Langtang district, Agatean empire. Collector of Revenues who joins the Silver Horde as their accountant.

Slasher Mungo – Presumed dead in Skund after they could only find his head.

Snake Priests of Start – Cohen did something to them with just one thumb.

Spooner Boggis – Lord Snapcase had made him eat his own nose.

Sung Ts’uit Li – Had a Jade Head.

Sungs, The – Noble family in the Agatean Empire.

Tangs, The – Noble family in the Agatean Empire.

Terrible Man-Eating Sloth of Clup – Guards the giant ruby of the Mad Snake God.

Terror – Son of War.

The Lady – A female goddess with green eyes. She rolls a 7 using 6-sided dice.

Thog the Butcher – Seemingly a member of the Silver Horde but not brought along to the Counterweight Continent.

Three High Trees, Captain – Officer in the Agatean army. Almost accidentally confronted by Rincewind.

Three Maximum Luck – Member of the Red Army. Rescued by Rincewind.

Three Pink Pig – Among the first to see the real Red Army rise from the ground.

Three Solid Frogs – Frustrated plate artist forced to switch from vermilion to blue.

Three Sun Sung – May have written the Art of War.

Three Yoked Oxen – Young man of the Red Army who sadly ends up being tortured.

Truckle the Uncivil – Member of the Silver Horde. Has trouble keeping a civil tongue, but then what else would you expect?

Two Fire Herb – Agent of Lord Hong who spies on the Red Army.

Two Little Wang – The Emperor’s Master of Protocol. Hears the “ghosts” of the Silver Horde beneath his feet.

Twoflower (aka Two Flower, by those who do not know him well) – A tourist from the Agatean Empire who arrives in Ankh-Morpork with the Luggage.

Valkyries – Maidens who take slain warriors to the Halls of the Slain. I mean, where else?

Voltan the Indestructible – Barbarian hero now resting in peace.

War – Associated with Death. Along with Pestilence and Famine, the four of them attempt to learn to play cards from Twoflower.

Wilkins – A thief in training under Boggis.

Wong – Had a Singing Sword.

Article Name
Interesting Times Persons - Alphabetic
Alphabetical list of the persons in Interesting Times.
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Narrativium Reviews
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