Ho, ho, ho! It’s the alphabetical list of the persons in Hogfather. To see the chronological list of the persons in Hogfather, click this sentence.
Aaron Fidget – Precocious young man of 8 (going on 45, per Death / Hogfather) who gets exactly what he deserves.
Alberto Malich the Wise (Albert) – Founder of Unseen University. “Wise” may just be an honorarium. Death’s housekeeper.
Anaglypta Huggs – Organizer of the best and most select of Ankh-Morpork’s wassailers – a distinction not to be taken lightly.
Angie Jenks – Wife of Ronnie Jenks. Bit of a catch (for Ronnie) as her father owned a half-share in an eel pie shop in Gleam Street. Got all her own teeth and a wooden leg you’d hardly notice.
Archchancellor Bowell – A seemingly traditional head of UU. The circular hall known Archchancellor Bowell’s Remembrance still holds one small currant bun and one copper penny on a high stone shelf every second Wednesday. Ah, tradition!
Archchancellor Buckleby – Must have locked himself in his own wardrobe. A pity the lock was too stiff.
Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully the Brown – Prominent leader of Unseen University. Sorta good at what he does – whatever that is.
Archchancellor Spode – Had Rules about locking the main doors of UU.
Arnold Sideways – Legless member of the Canting Crew.
Auditors – Mysterious beings, often clad in gray, who seem to report to no one but Azrael. Making personal references causes them to cease to exist.
Reginald “Banjo” Lilywhite – A hulking man of 35. Brother of Medium Dave. Used to live at the YMPA but now resides in the Tooth Fairy’s Tower.
Bibulous – God of Wine and Things on Sticks. A kind of counterpart to Bilious. (Called Tuvelpit and Smimto in Small Gods.)
Big Dave – One of the reasons for Medium Dave.
Big Mad Drongo – Student at UU. Aka Adrian Turnipseed.
Bilious – The Oh God of Hangovers. A kind of counterpart to Bilious who drank but never got the hangover.
Binky – Death’s white (pale) horse, revealing the serendipitous side of Death.
Blind Io – Chief of the gods who live at Dunmanifestin. He appears to be blind but has many eyes outside his body.
Bloody Stupid Johnson – Born, Bergholt Stuttley Johnson, but few remember those names. His works deserve an article all their own and may or may not ever get one.
Blue Bird (Hen) of Happiness – Belonged to (that is, came into existence at the same time as) the Cheerful Fairy.
Bulgy (1, 2, and 3) – Or possibly Bulgie. Twyla’s three pet gerbils, now deceased.
Bursar, The – At UU, but not a wizard. Needs his dried frog pills. Aka Mr. Dinwiddie.
Buster – Deceased pet of Twyla’s. Species unknown.
Carter – Lord Downey’s servant. Was willing to bring tea for Teatime, which is not as obvious as it sounds.
Catseye – Known for his ability to see in the dark. You don’t want to know how he acquired it.
Chair of Indefinite Studies – Overweight wizard of UU. In on the discussion of the moving picture Blown Away.
Charlie – District manager of Bulk Collection and Despatch for the Tooth Fairy’s…er….system.
Cheerful Fairy – Proper name: Miss Gwendoline Smith. Has a Blue Bird (Hen) of Paradise.
Chickenwire – Invented a method using chickenwire used in connection with concrete overshoes. Don’t ask.
Chrysoprase (aka Krysoprase and Chrystophrase) – Son of Kwartz? Head Troll.
Coffin Henry – Member of the Canting Crew with Foul Old Ron.
Constable Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets – Call him Visit or Washpot, for short.
Continence – Angie Jenks’ sister. Lovely girl.
Corporal Cecil Wormsborough St. John “Nobby” Nobbs – Member of the Night Watch. Species: human. Probably.
De Bris gang – A troll criminal organization.
Dean of Pentacles – Wizard of UU who thought there was too much sex “these days”.
Death – An anthrpomorphic personification comprised of a skeleton, covered in a black robe, and holding a scythe (or a sword, for kings). He communicates in CAPTIAL LETTERS without the quotation marks.
Death of Rats – Once part of Death, he retained his own identity even after Bill Door ceased to be.
Didactylos – Philosopher of Ephebe who wrote De Chelonian Mobile. Uncle of Urn.
Duck Man, The – What duck?
Eater of Socks – Looks like a small elephant. You not wonder anymore.
Electric Drill Chuck Key Fairy – Possibly related to the Eater of Socks.
Ernie (Ernest) – Drove a tooth cart for the Tooth Fairy until he met Mr. Teatime.
Euphrasia Goat – Euffie, to her mother. When Death / Hogfather stated that she wanted a pony, she said, “‘s.”
Fat Dave – One of the reasons for Medium Dave.
Fate – One of the game-playing gods in Dunmanifestin.
Foul Ole Ron – Beggar who saw Angua in the nudd. “Millennium hand and shrimp!”
Galder Weatherwax – Supreme Grand Conjuror of the Order of the Silver Star, Lord Imperial of the Sacred Staff, Eighth Level Ipsissimus and 304th Chancellor of Unseen University…to his friends.
Gammer Wimblestone – Ran a dame school where Ronnie Jenks made life miserable for (Mr) Sideney.
Gawain Gaiter – Bright, to say the least, child in the charge of Susan Sto Helit. Brother of Twyla.
General Tacticus – Once in power in Genua, declared war on Ankh-Morpork.
Glingleglingleglingle Fairy – Makes your eyes hurt, doesn’t it?
Glossy Ron – Strangled by Ma Lilywhite with his own leg. Ouch.
God of Indigestion – One of several beings unwittingly called into existence by Archchancellor Ridcully.
Gouger – One of the four boars who pull the Hogfather’s sleigh. Think, Rudolph with a nasty side.
Great A’Tuin – He or she is the turtle who moves through space in the Discworld universe. On his or her back are 4 elephants. On the backs of the elephants rests the Disc itself.
Hair Loss Fairy – A gnome, unwittingly conjured by the Lecturer in Recent Runes, who appeared on the Dean’s head and was snatched from said head by Susan who identified him correctly.
Hogfather – Does his gifting thing at Hogswatch time.
Hon. Jeffrey Bibbleton, The – Trouble in trousers. Unticked on the Tooth Fairy’s list.
Hon. K. W. Dobson, The – Assassin of Viper House. Active in the Year of the Sideways Leech.
Igor (at Biers) – Bartender who knows a lot. But then, don’t they all?
Jack Frost – Anthropomorphic personification who does just what you’d expect, assuming you expect him to frost windows and such.
James Riddle – Wrote to the Hogfather, “I bet you don’t exist ‘cos everyone knows its yore parents.” Cheeky monkey.
Jamie – How Susan referred to the second cousin of the queen.
Jermain – Page of a generous, but unappreciated, king. He did come hither and stood by him though.
John Barleycorn – Anthropomorphic personification of the character from the English / Scottish folk song. He had a lifetimer.
Jonathan Teatime – That’s Teh-ah-tim-eh, if you please. And even if you don’t.
Lanky Dai – It’s a stretch, but this is another reason for Medium Dave.
Lecturer in Recent Runes – Wizard at UU. Contrived wearing false beards over their beards as a disguise.
(Head) Librarian – Formerly human, now simian. Favorite (and nearly only) word: Oook.
Lord Downey – Originally deputy to Dr Cruces. Eventually succeeded him as head of the Assassins’ Guild.
Lord Robert Selachii – An assassin. Member of a prominent family in Ankh-Morpork.
Ma Lilywhite – Was a large, fearsome woman. Mother of Medium Dave and Banjo.
Mad Dave – Yet another reason for Medium Dave.
Medium Dave Lilywhite – Protector of his brother Banjo. Attempted to assist Mr Teatime for a time…longer than most.
Mericet – An examiner in the Assassin’s Guild. Teppic’s examiner.
Miss Harding – A cashier at Crumley’s department store.
Modo – UU’s dwarf gardener. Say “Hallo” when you see him.
Mr Brown – An excellent lockpick but not quite good enough to get through all the doors in the Tooth Fairy’s Tower, which caused him to have an “accident” all the way down the stairs.
Mr Gaiter – Gawain’s and Twyla’s father.
Mr Sideney – Student wizard who joins forces (for a time) with Mr Teatime.
Mr Winvoe – Assassins’ Guild treasurer. What a job!
Mrs Gaiter – Gawain’s and Twyla’s mother.
Mrs Gammage – A regular at Biers. Looked after by the other usual clientele.
Mrs Whitlow – Chief servant, Aye believe, at Unseen University. A psychic.
Mupo – Deceased pet of Twyla’s. Species unknown.
Nuhakme Icta – Known (presumably to her parents) as the Little Jewel. Lives in the basement of The Laughing Falafel, Klatchistan Take-Away and All-Nite Grocery on the corner of Soake and Dimwell, Ankh-Morpork. Was on the Hogfather’s list.
Offler – The Crocodile God who has difficulty with speech due to his fang-like teeth – not unlike the speaking problems encountered by all crocodiles.
Old Man Trouble – Anthropomorphic personification of Murphy’s Law.
Old Thimble – Runs Thimble’s Pipe and Tobacco Shop in Money Trap Lane. The Tooth Fairy is his landlord.
Osric Pencillium – On the island of Sumtri, evidently discovered the Pencil Bush. Not necessarily named after him.
Ossory – A Great Prophet often quoted by Brutha. Wrote the Book of St Ossory.
Packley – He has a strong room that the De Bris gang may or may not be interested in.
Peachy – A cohort of Medium Dave et al. Doesn’t shave. Has a beard you could keep goats in.
Ponder Stibbons – A student wizard. Reader in Invisible Writings. Often the brains of UU.
Professor of Applied Anthropics – Believes the universe exists in order for there to be a Professor of Applied Anthropics who can prove….
Quoth – Name used to refer to a raven only by the wizard Cheesewaller (Soul Music) who thought he owned him. Mount of the Death of Rats. Will not use the N-word.
Rachel – Twyla’s friend who says the Hogfather doesn’t exist and it’s your father really. Some friend!
Ronnie Jenks – Bully who had made Sideney’s life miserable at Gammer Wimbleston’s dame school.
Rooter – One of the four boars who pull the Hogfather’s sleigh.
Sandman – Uses his bag of sand (without opening it) to help (young) people sleep.
Sarah – The little match girl on the doorstep of Thimble’s. She was going to die this Hogswatch, unless Death did something about it. Er.
Schlimazel – A bogeyman who tries to bother Susan at Biers.
Scissor Man – Something like an ostrich and something like a lizard on its hind legs. Made of blades. Goes snip, snip when it moves. Comes for those who suck their thumbs. Came for Peachy.
Senior Wrangler – Wizard at UU. This is an actual position in the Roundworld as well.
Sir Geoffrey – Party guest at the Gaiters’.
Sir George – Victim of Teatime. His dog was nailed to the ceiling. Lord Downey considered this unnecessary.
Snouter – One of the four boars who pull the Hogfather’s sleigh.
Sophie Longtree – Daddy’s Princess. Sleeps in the attic bedroom at 5 The Hippo. Noted on the Tooth Fairy’s list.
Soul Cake Tuesday Duck – Anthropomorphic personification of Soul Cake Tuesday – for what it’s worth.
Stealer of Pencils – Unwittingly brought into existence by Ponder Stibbons, this bird has a beak that ends in what looks like a pencil sharpener.
Susan Sto Helit – Daughter of Mort and Ysabell. Thus, Death’s granddaughter (adopted, so to speak).
Thomas Ague – Was visited by a Tooth Fairy. Aged 4 and nearly three quarters. Lives at 9 Castle View in Sto Lat.
Tooth Fairy – According to Granny, a “very hard-working woman.” Actually, one of several with the same job.
Towel Wasps – Almost wittingly brought into existence by Archchancellor Ridcully. They steal towels.
Tusker – One of the four boars who pull the Hogfather’s sleigh.
Twyla Gaiter – Gawain’s sister. Aged 5 going on 35 for cynicism. Can see Death and monsters but is not afraid of them if Susan is handy. Does it matter to her if the Hogfather exists? “‘es.”
Ventre – Quirmian philosopher who said that possibly the gods exist and possibly they do not. He should have waffled less.
Verity – Twyla’s friend who said that the sooner you go to sleep the sooner the Hogfather would come. She may have been right.
Vernon Crumley – Owns the department store where the Hogfather / Death makes quite an appearance.
Verucca – Distant cousin of Archchancellor Ridcully. Probably best that we don’t know more.
Verucca Gnome – Unwittingly called into existence by Archchancellor Ridcully while in the newly discovered bathroom at UU.
Verucca Lumpy – Received a gift from the Hogfather / Death at Crumley’s.
Violet Bottler – A Tooth Fairy. One of several.
Virginia Prood – Wrote a letter to the Hogfather that was discovered by the Death of Rats. One of the items she asked for was “a Gharstley Omnian Inquisision Torchure Chamber with Wind-Up Rock and Nearly Real Blud You Can Use Agian.” Nice girl.
Wee Davey – One of the reasons for Medium Dave.
William – Virginia Prood’s friend who says that the Hogfather is father really. Rude boy.
William – Head waiter at a restaurant which mysteriously suddenly had nothing to serve but a lot of muddy old boots. He managed to create Mousse de la Boue dans une Panier de la Pate de Chaussures from them…among other delicacies.
William Rubin – Violet Bottler had made a mistake with him while on her Tooth Fairy rounds.
William Wittles – Known as Willy at home, but Tosser at school. Lived at 68 Kicklebury Street. Was on the Tooth Fairy’s list.
Windle Poons – Wizard at UU who is at least 130 years old and nearly deaf. The hearing problem often worked in his favor.